How to Remove Boundaries | Pathing New Ways to Ask for Help

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"Upgrade your life!"
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​~Reality in Consciousness

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Asking for help sounds easy enough, but if you’ve ever needed a helping hand, you know how difficult this can be. Before asking for help, please consider yourself & the helper.  If the potential helper has a history of using guilt & obligation to manipulate you, remove the drama & seek out a different person.

Seeking help can turn the most self-assured, direct person into a “worry-hog”. You could feel uncomfortable as a burden to others, experiencing a sense of stagnation from past mistakes, or usually troubled by what has transpired inside of your head. One would believe to think to ask for assistance to “by-pass” such misery, but following through with confidence when help is needed is tough for almost everyone. Asking for help may be difficult, but so are most things worth doing. 

Here we can discover the 3 most common reasons why most individuals choose to remain silent on the approach to asking for help, & how to combat such falsehoods which are attached to asking. With this information, both the helper & receiver may gain additional insight to another level of awareness for a reality of giving & take. One can simply practice the method of “wearing someone else’s shoes for a day” by assisting an individual other than themselves, or learn how to gain confidence by furthering their surrounding opportunities as to when a need of aide transpires. 


Fear of Being a Burden

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First of all, asking of others could lead to burden if you’re out of practice of doing so.  You could be fearful that asking for help will take something away from the helper, or assume they will see the task as a heavy load. As one should know that most individuals that are secure love helping others.  According to Dr. Hendriksen, Ph.D., “the most primitive part of the brain-the same reward pathway activated by food and sex-lights up in response to altruistic giving.” Not only does helping bring strength to social ties, but it also allows the helpers to feel good about themselves. If this is not the case for you, & the helper is actually over-burdened or are too busy, graciously trust him/her to communicate as so & find someone else.

 Past Mistakes 


Depending on one’s level of awareness, the reverence of duties is seasonal. In this regard, a person has lessons that will be unknowingly bypassed or may have substantially completed, like a great cycle.  One person’s circumstance is led by personal choice, & the other is brought upon based on outside influences. Either direction is an opportunity to educate yourself on how both choices are opportunities to internally grow & improve during each turn of the wheel. It is essential to movethrough past mistakes in life.  This fear of admitting to past mistakes is particularly common when more than enough of circumstances adhere to cause friction. An influx in social status, economic plans, or within personal relationships can feel like your failing or isn’t capable of addressing daily conjunctures. Sometimes when we try to control every situation that rapidly emits, it turns out not to be the better approach. Do not avoid past mistakes, & begin to actively forgive yourself first. Then you may express your lessons learned to those that matter the most! In this way, past mistakes will be like “water under the bridge” for you allowing a fluidly, positive flow of success in your life by rebuilding a peaceful bond with yourself & between new & old friends. Click Here to Read "The Elephant in the Room | Generational, Jaded Interpersonal Relationships"***



Fear of "Appearing Weak"



Also known as a “needy appearance”-incompetent, stupid, or broken.  Regardless, the worry of appearance is just another apparent “roadblock” when it comes to asking for help.  Remind yourself of the ability to have someone to ask for assistance means that you are being supported & connected.  Reframe from the mindset of whichever fearful appearance the mind could relay, & utilize the best options that are near to you.  To alleviate the fear of appearing weak, for example, match the request with someone considered an expert. Say if you were having car troubles, you’d more than likely seek a professional mechanic for their feedback, or if financial woes occur, you’d be apt to speak with an individual who specializes in finance, & so on. The key word here is expert, one (sometimes a few) that you can trust to give you information. Furthermore, try asking for help as if you’re inquiring about expert instructions. An example of this could be, “Can I pick your brain”, “Can I get your perspective on something”, or “It’s been a long time since I’ve done this.”  You should also be present in defining what is needed in order to counter the fear of appearing weak. Click Here to Read "How to Build a Dynamic Support Team"


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Defining & asking for what you want is necessary before the requirement of others can step in. So, if it’s the fear of being a burden, unresolved issues, or the worry of appearing weak, practice being acutely specific in regards to your needs. This sounds easy, but for many people, it’s not.  They may know what they want at this very minute, but have no clue of the bigger picture-focused on the surface of the ocean, not realizing what’s above or beneath it.

An approach to dismantling the fear of asking for help is ideal as you may know by this point. Make a list of what it is that you are seeking, noting specific qualities, ideas & more. The act of writing lists prompts you to tune in on what you want, enforcing intent.  Take your time & be honest, including everything that is most important for you. You direct your mind this way to consciously create the circumstances you desire.  Therefore, be very clear & specific for what you want, creating the process of asking for help easier.  

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Thank you again for staying in tuned to reality in consciousness on this week’s segment on "How to Remove Boundaries | Pathing New Ways to Ask for Help."

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Be Well & Heal in Peace…Peace!!!
                                                                


Written by: S.J
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About the Author:

S.J is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Health & Wellness Consultant, Author of “The Traditional Modalities for Healing”, Blogger & owner of www.realitynconsciousness.com. In her Blogs, she enjoys writing Inspirational Tips about the utilization of Holistic Tools, such as Mindfulness, Awareness of the inner-self & its environment, weekly Affirmations for Sexual Abuse Survivors, & Afrikan Spirituality. She also loves reading, travel, fitness, & creating new vegan recipes.

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